Business isn\u2019t life. In life, you will have to apologize for your actions, if your transgressions warrant it. But most (1) mistakes in business are just that, mistakes. They weren\u2019t intentional, they didn\u2019t lead to grievous harm or loss of life, so they rarely rise to the level where an apology is required.<\/p>\n
My response to people at work who say \u201csorry\u201d is that unless they ran over my dog, they don\u2019t have to say sorry.<\/p>\n
Furthermore, people have a nasty habit of using the word \u201cSorry\u201d as a place-holder for truly\u00a0A<\/strong>cknowledging the problem, taking\u00a0R<\/strong>esponsibility for it and\u00a0C<\/strong>ommitting to resolve it, otherwise known as\u00a0ARR<\/a>. Many of these people think that by simply saying sorry, they can use that as a general purpose, get-out-of-jail free card that will at once absolve themselves of having to take responsibility let alone take steps to commit the mistake won\u2019t happen in the future. The one thing I notice about people who reflexively say \u201csorry\u201d a lot, is that they constantly make the same mistakes over and over. Using this rhetorical crutch, people immediately short circuit the process of introspection that is necessary to take responsibility and ultimately improve, grow and develop. I refer to this as\u00a0\u201cFucking down\u201d vs \u201cFucking up\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n This is why I term the word \u201cSorry\u201d a\u00a0\u201closer word\u201d<\/a>\u00a0and why it is prohibited from use by people who work in any of my organizations<\/p>\n If you want to work\/live\/act \u201cas if\u201d you are a professional, someone worth to be hired, promoted etc, it is important that you act \u201cas if\u201d you are that person now, which includes talking like one, not a loser. By taking responsibility for your actions vs just reflexively apologizing in a knee-jerk fashion, you will demonstrate that you are such a quality person. I wrote\u00a0an article<\/a>\u00a0about a person who made more mistakes than you could ever imagine, but never apologized once and eventually met with success and was promoted.<\/p>\n It seems counter intuitive, at least at first, that a manager, boss, leader wouldn\u2019t accept someone saying \u201csorry\u201d as a response to a mistake, and even less so that they would prohibit the person from apologizing in the first place, but if your goal is to actually change and improve, apologizing actually is counter-productive because it inhibits that positive progression.<\/p>\n I was broken of the habit of saying \u201csorry\u201d in the military. The first time I apologized for a mistake I made was the last time, and I still have dreams (or perhaps nightmares) of the response to saying \u201csorry\u201d during basic training. At first, I felt that the Drill Sergeant was being unfair, vindictive etc. Only later, did I begin to appreciate the gift that he had given me of never having to say \u201csorry\u201d. No longer did I fall back on some word, that just by throwing it out would negate any mistakes and preclude you from having to take responsibility for them. I started to take ownership of my mistakes and my vernacular changed from \u201csorry\u201d to \u2026<\/p>\nWords vs actions<\/h3>\n
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