0064

“I’ll try my best” and other phrases professionals never use

In this article title I lied, because I implied that there would be other phrases besides “I’ll try my best” that I would address here. To be honest, I did the best I could. So what’s the problem?

When people say they will do “their best”, it really annoys me. There is a lot packed into that little phrase, none of it is any good, and people who use it know this full well. They use it as a rhetorical tool to both lower expectations and wrest control from assessing outcomes of a task from yourself, the task owner, to themselves.

People will say “Don’t be such a hard-ass, they are simply trying to say the right thing”. My retort is that no, words have meanings and people know full well what this phrase means and they use it purposefully; the intent and use of this word is at best useless and at worst goal-misaligned and counterproductive. By using it, you convey to someone that you can’t really be relied on to accomplish tasks, nor are you even committed fully to that goal. This separates you from more mature professionals who never use this phrase (these are the same people you want to talk “as if” you were one of them, even if you haven’t quite made it yet)

Unknown

When you say “I’ll do my best” there is one, huge uncertainty there. What is your best? What if your best isn’t good enough? What if your best isn’t good at all? So if you need the report done by the end of the week or your team will all lose their jobs, would you rather have someone commit to getting it done or “do their best”. But by tacitly accepting the benchmark of “their best” you implicitly agree that even if the report doesn’t get produced and everyone loses their job, it is fine because the person did their best.

Judging ourselves

Another problem I have is that when people say they will work to their best, they are implicitly empowering themselves to set the benchmark for performance or in other words, internalizing it. We are never the personal arbiters of our own success, no matter how much we may strive to acquire that level of control over our personal brand. In reality, our success, or failure, will always be a grade given to us by others based on our accomplishments. Said in another way, success is externalized. Factors, people, arbiters other than yourself will determine your level of success.

In a work type situation, your success will be determined by your results, production, feedback, etc and ultimately aggregated and delivered to you by your superior. Whether you did your best, or worst, or anything in between is entirely immaterial. Trying to implicitly set a different standard, than direct feedback from your superior, is a classic example of goal misalignment. You need to embrace the fact that regardless of your effort, personal standards e.g. your best or any other concepts, that your success will be determined by someone else.

Lowering expectations

The biggest reason people use this is to lower expectations. So that ultimately, if the task is a failure, they can say “Oh well, I did my best” and by that lowered benchmark claim to salvage some sense of success from the loss. By validating that across the company, everyone could be promoted just because, by their own internal benchmarks, which is that they tried their best. Production could slow, revenue could decline, profit could disappear and share prices can collapse, but as long as everyone is doing their best, collectively we can all rest easy. That isn’t how business works.

Ultimately businesses succeed as a whole, based on the collective micro-successes of all individual stakeholders. Success, not some ethereal concept related to effort, must be expected and achieved. There is no other substitute.

Leadership disconnect

Leaders can’t go to shareholders or investors and say “I will do my best”. They would get laughed out of the room, immediately after being fired. That same sense of expectations, at the top, needs to be implemented at every level in the organization, all the way down to the lowest ranking employee. When employees are simply required to do their best, but an organization as a whole must be required to succeed, there is a fundamental disconnect. Both dualities can’t exist. To become goal-aligned, everyone in an organization must commit to the concept, at least, of meeting expectations and achieving results, even if, in reality, the expectations aren’t always met

 

This article is part of the “Loser-words” series

0002

Paragraphs and white space

I don’t know why but failure to properly space paragraphs is extremely prevalent among young writers. This is a problem I see all the time in written correspondence. It is not only structurally incorrect, which conveys to the audience that you lack a firm grasp of the constructs and form of the language, it degrades readability, making it harder for your audience to consume and understand your content.

The rules

When you write in English you need to utilize white space to denote the beginning of new paragraphs

Generally, this is either

a) Space between paragraphs (web, email)

or

b) Indentation at the beginning of a new paragraph, starting with the second paragraph (print). We won’t cover that here

… but never both

Paragraphs are designed to improve readability of your content by breaking it into logical, atomic blocks. If there is no visual indication of the paragraph, though, then it defeats the purpose. Also, dense text with no breaks is visually difficult to process and degrades readability

These rules should be followed with web content, e-books, written correspondence whether it be email, a memo or even social media; basically for everything you write.

Example (web, email)

A melody is heard, played upon a flute. It is small and fine, telling of grass and trees and the horizon. The curtain rises.

Before us is the salesman’s house. We are aware of towering, angular shapes behind it, surrounding it on all sides. Only the blue light of the sky falls upon the house and forestage; the surrounding area shows an angry glow of orange. As more light appears, we see a solid vault of apartment houses around the small, fragile-seeming home. An air of the dream clings to the place, a dream rising out of reality. The kitchen at center seems actual enough, for there is a kitchen table with three chairs, and a refrigerator. But no other fixtures are seen. At the back of the kitchen there is a draped entrance, which leads to the living-room. To the right of the kitchen, on a level raised two feet, is a bedroom furnished only with a brass bedstead and a straight chair. On a shelf over the bed a silver athletic trophy stands. A window opens on to the apartment house at the side.

Behind the kitchen, on a level raised six and a half feet, is the boys’ bedroom, at present barely visible. Two beds are dimly seen, and at the back of the room a dormer window. (This bedroom is above the unseen living-room.) At the left a stairway curves up to it from the kitchen.

The entire setting is wholly or, in some places, partially transparent. The roof-line of the house is one-dimensional; under and over it we see the apartment buildings. Before the house lies an apron, curving beyond the forestage into the orchestra. This forward area serves as the back yard as well as the locale of all Willy’s imaginings and of his city scenes. Whenever the action is in the present the actors observe the imaginary wall-lines, entering the house only through its door at the left. But in the scenes of the past these boundaries are broken, and characters enter or leave a room by stepping ‘‘through’’ a wall on to the forestage. (1)

Wrong

A melody is heard, played upon a flute. It is small and fine, telling of grass and trees and the horizon. The curtain rises.
Before us is the salesman’s house. We are aware of towering, angular shapes behind it, surrounding it on all sides. Only the blue light of the sky falls upon the house and forestage; the surrounding area shows an angry glow of orange. As more light appears, we see a solid vault of apartment houses around the small, fragile-seeming home. An air of the dream clings to the place, a dream rising out of reality. The kitchen at center seems actual enough, for there is a kitchen table with three chairs, and a refrigerator. But no other fixtures are seen. At the back of the kitchen there is a draped entrance, which leads to the living-room. To the right of the kitchen, on a level raised two feet, is a bedroom furnished only with a brass bedstead and a straight chair. On a shelf over the bed a silver athletic trophy stands. A window opens on to the apartment house at the side.
Behind the kitchen, on a level raised six and a half feet, is the boys’ bedroom, at present barely visible. Two beds are dimly seen, and at the back of the room a dormer window. (This bedroom is above the unseen living-room.) At the left a stairway curves up to it from the kitchen.
The entire setting is wholly or, in some places, partially transparent. The roof-line of the house is one-dimensional; under and over it we see the apartment buildings. Before the house lies an apron, curving beyond the forestage into the orchestra. This forward area serves as the back yard as well as the locale of all Willy’s imaginings and of his city scenes. Whenever the action is in the present the actors observe the imaginary wall-lines, entering the house only through its door at the left. But in the scenes of the past these boundaries are broken, and characters enter or leave a room by stepping ‘‘through’’ a wall on to the forestage.

(1) Death of a Salesman, A. Miller

0087

Cover letter examples

I believe a cover letter is vital to improving your odds of getting a job. Here is a template and some examples that may help. They have been customized for applications to US-based employers.

I would encourage you to

  • Convert the cover letter to a PDF
  • Keep it at one page
  • Attach resume to the email as a separate PDF

A cover letter has been posted here

Email intro

As you will most likely be emailing your resume and cover letter, you can use this template below

 

Dear Brian,

I’m writing to you to apply for the job opening of <Role>. I have attached a cover letter and resume.

I appreciate your consideration of my candidacy

Sincerely,

<Name>

 

Template

This template includes blocks for

  • Introduction
  • Referral
  • Company info
  • Skills
    • Education
    • Transferrable aka Soft skills
    • Hard skills
    • Acheivements
  • Cultural adaptability (for US based company)
  • Resume and references
  • Ask

 

Date
Recipient Name
Title
Company

Dear <Name>,

I am writing regarding your job opening of <Role>. I appreciate you taking the time to review my qualifications.

I was referred to this opportunity by <Referral> who works in your <dept> as a <position>. I understand that he is very happy and has proven himself in this role. I believe I could replicate his success, if given the chance, and <Referral> has agreed to vouch for me as a reference (among other references available upon request).

Based on extensive research I have done on <Company>, I believe I could quickly adapt to your unique culture and make a positive contribution. <Example>

As a holder of <Degrees, Certs> I can competently execute <Responsibilities>.

I am highly regarded for <Transferable Skills>.

I am proficient in <Systems>.

Throughout my career, I have demonstrated a very high level dedication and effort. <List 3-4 achievements relevant to the JD>.

My proficiency in English, prolific consumption of all things American culture including music, sports and movies, and my ambition, work-ethic and communication skills, would allow me to quickly assimilate, and eventually succeed, in an American company.

I humbly believe these qualities and experience make me highly suitable for the role of <Target Role> and that I would be an asset to your team. As such, I have attached my resume for your review. I can also provide references upon request.

If there is interest in my candidacy, please feel free to contact me, as I would be excited to pursue potential next steps. I can reached via any of the contact points above at any time.

I appreciate your consideration,

____________________
<Name>

<Mobile> | <Email> | <LinkedIn>

Example 1

This is an example, based on the template, for a candidate that has a referral and good experience

Feb 20, 2020
Brian Lockwood
CEO
Znam

Dear Brian,

I am writing regarding your job opening of Marketing specialist. I appreciate you taking the time to review my qualifications.

I was referred to this opportunity by Nikola Kadric who works in your Operations dept. as an analyst. I understand that he is very happy and has proven himself in this role. I believe I could replicate his success, if given the chance, and Nikola has agreed to vouch for me as a reference (among other references available upon request).

Based on extensive research I have done on Znam, I believe I could quickly adapt to your unique culture and make a positive contribution. I really appreciate the community outreach efforts for underprivileged children in Brooklynn and that is something that I would love to have the opportunity to participate in, in my spare time. I also am interested in your future leader development program, once I have firmly established myself at the company.

As a holder of a Bachelors degree in Marketing I can competently execute tasks related to branding, advertising, SEO and website development

I am highly regarded for my team work, organization and communication skills

I am proficient in Word processing, spreadsheets, graphics software and WordPress

Throughout my career, I have demonstrated a very high level dedication and effort. I managed a team of marketing interns for the summer, I lead our company’s efforts in local job fairs and I created and managed a human-resources database to better track and process applications

My proficiency in English, prolific consumption of all things American culture including music, sports and movies, and my ambition, work-ethic and communication skills, would allow me to quickly assimilate, and eventually succeed, in an American company.

I humbly believe the aforementioned qualities and experience make me highly suitable for the role of Marketing specialist and that I would be an asset to your team. As such, I have attached my resume for your review. I can also provide references upon request.

If there is interest in my candidacy, please feel free to contact me, as I would be excited to pursue potential next steps. I can reached via any of the contact points above at any time.

I appreciate your consideration,

____________________
Dejan Markovic

919258564545 | dejan.markovic@gmail.com | https://www.linkedin.com/in/DMarkovic/

 

Example 2

This is an example, based on the template, for a candidate that doesn’t have a referral or good experience

Feb 20, 2020
Brian Lockwood
CEO
Znam

Dear Brian,

I am writing regarding your job opening of Marketing specialist. I appreciate you taking the time to review my qualifications.

Based on extensive research I have done on Znam, I believe I could quickly adapt to your unique culture and make a positive contribution. I really appreciate the community outreach efforts for underprivileged children in Brooklynn and that is something that I would love to have the opportunity to participate in, in my spare time. I also am interested in your future leader development program, once I have firmly established myself at the company.

As a holder of a Bachelors degree in Marketing I can competently execute tasks related to branding, advertising, SEO and website development

I am highly regarded for my team work, organization and communication skills

I am proficient in Word processing, spreadsheets, graphics software and WordPress

Although I lack significant job experience, as a new entrant to the labor market, I have completed a soft-skills boot camp and was ranked in the top 1/3 of graduates (see certificate attached) from Znam, a local, non-profit employment incubator. Furthermore, I have been certified highly proficient in spoken and written English (including a typing speed of 50 WPM). Based on my accomplishments in this program, Znam CEO, Brian Lockwood, has agreed to provide a written and/or phone reference for me.

My proficiency in English, prolific consumption of all things American culture including music, sports and movies, and my ambition, work-ethic and communication skills, would allow me to quickly assimilate, and eventually succeed, in an American company.

I humbly believe the aforementioned qualities and experience make me highly suitable for the role of Marketing specialist and that I would be an asset to your team. As such, I have attached my resume for your review. I can also provide references upon request.

If there is interest in my candidacy, please feel free to contact me, as I would be excited to pursue potential next steps. I can reached via any of the contact points above at any time.

I appreciate your consideration,

____________________
Dejan Markovic

919258564545 | dejan.markovic@gmail.com | https://www.linkedin.com/in/DMarkovic

 

IMG_20190205_113118-scaled

Email etiquette; salutations and valedictions

Salutation

What

It is a simple written indication, confirming the person you are emailing

For example:

Brian,

Why

When you use a salutation you convey a couple things:

  • You can communicate in a professional way and therefore, you are a professional
  • You can take the time to formally acknowledge the person you are emailing, or in other words, you are paying them respect, whether they are a superior, a peer or a subordinate
  • If you are writing an email to multiple recipients, you are clarifying/confirming who the main recipient is, if there is a main recipient. Yes, you may put this in the TO and others in the CC, but this simple gesture serves to make this clear
  • It serves to introduce the communication to avoid the appearance of being rude. For example, would you just walk up to someone on the street and immediately ask them directions? Or would you say, “Excuse me, Sir” or “Sorry to bother you” etc

When

A simple rule is always to include a salutation, in the first email in a thread

  • You should always include a salutation in your email
  • When you email a stranger, prospect, customer, potential employee etc for the first time
  • When you email anyone the second, third, … nth time
  • When you email your boss, a co-worker, a peer
  • When you communicate via social media. Just because it isn’t an email is no excuse to not communicate professionally

After the first email, in a particular thread, you are no longer obligated to repeat the salutation, although it can still be used, and I will often to continue to do this.

I have a simple method of dealing with emails without a salutation. If it from outside the company, and not a customer (or someone else I’m obligated to communicate with), I ignore it. If it is from inside the company, I reach out to the person and remind them how to communicate via email.

For my perspective, finding an email from me without a salutation would be very rare. I’ve sent 10’s, if not 100’s of thousands of emails and my guess is that 99.9% included a salutation. Of those, some of the emails were intended to convey a lack of respect, so the lack of salutation was purposeful.

How

Simple rule: First is best

In the US, using the subject’s first name, e.g. Brian, without “Dear” is preferred.

I would not recommend using “Mr” or “Ms” and the last name. In information technology such salutations are anachronistic.

The joke is “Mr. [name]” is my dad’s name.

Also, I don’t even know what the proper way to address a woman is because it depends on whether she is married. Is it “Miss”, “Ms”? Hell, if I know. You can avoid this problem with just using a first name

Is using a first name to informal? It isn’t for me, and I was in the military and I’m a stickler for respectful correspondence.

Note: Nobody uses “Sir” anymore in the US. I’m sorry. If you are referring to someone as Sir, you might fit in in 19th century England but here and now it is overly formal. I will immediately correct people in business who refer to me as “Sir” that they don’t have to do that (and that I would prefer if they didn’t). The old Army joke is “Don’t call me Sir. I work for a living”. I do understand that there are some cases, like customer service, on the phone, where this may be helpful and appropriate. 

Valediction

What

A simple farewell message i.e. Best, Sincerely, Warm regards etc at the end of your email

Why

Would you just hang up a phone, without saying “Good bye” to someone? No, of course not. So leaving out a valediction can come across as abrupt, rude

When

Always on the first email of a thread. I would leave it out on subsequent emails unless you have a sense that it will be the last in a thread

How

  • Sincerely
  • Best
  • Regards
  • Best regards
  • Kind regards

My favorite valediction is “Thanks”. You can’t really go wrong with that, in most cases

Tom,

Could you update me on the status of the meeting?

Thanks,

Brian

Note: Having an email signature is NOT a valediction, nor is it an excuse to not include one. But … if you are crafty and smart, you may build one into your signature, if it matches the font of your email perfectly, looking like you types it. I’ve seen many people try to do this and fail, so if you are going to do it, do it right or just type it out every time.

Objections

I hear objections from some people that this is unnecessary and inferred. I disagree. I notice any missing salutation and I take it as a sign of disrespect. If you want to risk eliciting that kind of reaction from the recipient of your communication, go ahead and roll the dice. But for the cost of a fraction of a second (see next) it is well worth it.

Another objection I hear is that it takes too long to type. My standard answer to that is to learn to type faster. In the age of the knowledge worker, not being able to type *extremely* fast is simply not an option.

0175

No skills, No experience, No English … No problem!

Yivko

We hired this guy at my old company, out of Serbia. At that point in my career, I wasn’t hiring anyone directly myself, as we had an HR team, and I was only working with people after they had been onboarded.

I happened to be visiting our office in Belgrade and this individual, let’s call him Yivko, to mask his identity, was always at the office, so for a few days, we spent a lot of time together. We’d go out to lunch, I would do all the talking, telling him about our work culture, giving him a lot of tips for success and telling a lot of jokes. He would laugh right at all of the punchlines, with perfect timing. But even so, I sensed something was off. So finally, I leaned over to him and said “You don’t understand a damn thing I’m saying do you?!”. And apparently, understanding enough of the question he kind of slumped his shoulders and said “No, Brian”.

Hiring retrospective

So later in the day I called our HR team and asked, exaggerating a bit “How the Hell did we hire this guy? He doesn’t understand a word of English!?”. Apparently, he had scored well on all entry level tests but done very poorly in English, but somehow that was overlooked.

Me: Where did you get this guy?

He was a refrigerator repairman

Me: Does he have any technical skills? Any testing experience?

No, not really

What do you want us to do with him? Do you want us to fire him?

Me: No, we can’t fire him. It’s not his fault that we made a hiring mistake. We’ll have to try and make it work. How is he doing, in general?

Well, his results are pretty poor

Me: Ok, he doesn’t speak English. He has no skills or experience. His work results are bad. Any other good news about this guy?

Well, he is a hard worker and he seems pretty motivated.

Me: How hard? How motivated?

Well, he seems to be one of the hardest working and most motivated guys we’ve ever hired …

Progression

Later in the week, I was in the office late with Yivko and he seemed a bit upset. When I asked him what was wrong, he conveyed to me that he was worried I was going to fire him.

Me: Why would I fire you?

Yivko: Because I can’t speak English (well)

Me: Are you working hard?

Yivko: Yes

Me: Ok, nobody is going to fire you

As I saw with my own eyes, this guy was coming into the office early in the AM, and waking me up as I was sleeping on the couch! And leaving late at night. And he had a 30 minute bus ride back and forth. I knew he was putting in the effort.

As I was reviewing his work, I also knew it was poor, but I noticed one thing that stood out. When I made a correction, gave him a tip and/or offered advice, he immediately internalized it and never repeated the mistake again. This seems simple and obvious, but I spent much of my day repeating the same things to the same people. With Yivko, that was never the case. Yes, he was making mistakes but they were new ones. This is a critical soft-skill that so many people lack. It really stood out and impressed me, not the least of which because it made my life easier working with him.

After I returned to the US, I continued to have conversations with Yivko

Yivko: Brian, my results are bad

Me: Are you still working hard?

Yivko: Yes

Me: Then don’t worry about it. Over-time your results will improve.

We had several variations of this conversation, for the first year of his tenure at the company, and then, he seemed to hit the inflection point with his work. Results started to improve, just as I had predicted based on the effort he was applying, his high level of motivation and his good attitude.

Finally, when he was really hitting high-notes consistently, we discussed the possibility of him getting promoted, and I agreed to that.

His promotion, to Level I, was later than some of his peers, as it had taken him longer, but, in reality, based on what he had learned and the sustainable pace he was developing, I predicted he would be in very good shape for his next promotion, down the road, to Level II. And that is exactly what happened.

Where is Yivko now

Where is Yivko now and how is he doing?

He is still at the company, doing very well.

He has been promoted 2x and his results consistently rank as at or near the best on our team of approx 12 support analysts.

The content he has written, in English, has ranked extremely high, and in many cases higher than native-English authors. He’s written articles that have gotten 100’s of thousands of visits, with more than a million in total, and tons of positive comments like these …

This is fantastic! I searched for days to find an answer to why my remote app couldn’t connect to my local DB. I followed your instructions and Eureka! It works perfectly. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Cheers Yivko, this has worked perfectly and saved me a lot of time.

Marko, thank you. One beautiful day, I woke up and found out that my databases in Visual Studio 2017 could not be accessed by the server. I found out later that the problem was due to the databases being translated to a newer format, namely the SQL Server 2017 format, while the server remained in the SQL Server 2016 format. For a whole day, I have been trying to install SQL Server 2017 LocalDB and recreate the MSSQLLocalDB file to no avail. It wasnt until now that I, thanks to your article, realized that the SQL Server 2017 installer did not install the LocalDB package, which I eventually downloaded and installed manually. Now everything works wonderfully, my databases and the server are working along together again. Cheers to you and keep on saving the days of us developers :D!

Thanks man, you saved my ass!

His articles were so good, we translated many of them into Spanish earning him the Nom de plume, El Yivko

His nickname in his team is “The Animal” because of his high-energy approach to his work and tasks.

The secrets to success

Ok, so how do we break this down. Why did Yivko succeed, lacking any advantages, where others, seemingly much more qualified and experienced, failed?

  • English? No (Although this is something that needs to be perfected over-time)
  • Hard skills? No (this can be learned)
  • Experience? No (this can be gained)
  • Education? No (what needs to be learned can be taught on the job)
  • Technical proficiency? No (this can be accrued via on-the-job training)
  • Motivation? Yes
  • Effort? Yes
  • Lack of entitlement? Yes
  • Attitude? Yes

I’ve hired people who spoke 4 languages fluently and maxed out on our tests who failed miserably, unable or unwilling to do the work. I’ve seen people with PhD’s come in with a sense of entitlement that they are owed everything without having to invest any effort, who invariably didn’t work out. I hired a tester with 10 years of experience who quit the moment I asked him to write a test plan for an app.

Yivko ran circles around all of these guys, simply because he was motivated. What he needed to learn, he learned. What skills he needed to acquire, he acquired. But there is no such thing as learning to be motivated or being able to acquire soft skills like a good attitude, helpfulness, dedication and commitment to the job. These soft-skills are things you need to learn before you get the job[1].

Objection

Sure, you like Yivko. He probably works 20 hour days for very little money?

In the beginning, yes, Yivko would work 10+ hour days, but we paid overtime for this extra work at 1.5x so we weren’t necessarily saving money (although often he wouldn’t put in for OT he worked). As he got better, his hours drifted down to a normal workday. He has gotten promoted twice and, for Serbia, makes a quite excellent living with the potential to continue to do even better.

Lessons learned

We can teach you hard skills i.e. testing, XML, SQL, writing, English, typing. But teaching soft skills like work ethic is much harder.

If you are motivated, you will learn all of the hard skills you need over time. If you aren’t, even if you have them, you won’t be willing to apply them to create success

I will take someone who is motivated, is willing to learn and work hard, has a good attitude and good soft skills regardless of their skills, education and experience, any day.

Note

It does take a special organization that will allow people time to learn vs expecting them to hit the ground running on Day 1. We provided time and depth to acquire the necessary skills, mentoring along the way, and a supportive team with a vested interest in everyone’s success

 

[1] These are things I hope to teach via my employment incubator in Southern Serbia

0108

Have gun, will travel – the true story of Dick Dunnington

Dick Dunnington volunteered (you read that right) for 3 tours of Vietnam, as a military intelligence officer, but wouldn’t breathe a word of what he did there, even though I asked him about 5x a day [1]. He worked hard his whole life and, not being able to have kids of his own, adopted two foster children. He was punctual, responsible and a man of his word. He lived precisely by the letter of his contracts.

Even though he was a warrior, he valued peace, character, integrity, and honesty (remember, those?). Even though he fought a war and lost friends, he wasn’t bitter. Even when he was laid off and out of work for 3 years, he never didn’t wake up at 6 AM every morning and fill his day with productive activities (he eventually bounced back as a consultant – see below).

His politics were as true as his character. We had similar backgrounds, in some ways, as I was a veteran myself, but different politics. Despite our different political persuasions, we ultimately agreed on the same candidate at the time. It was an era where people who disagreed could still talk with each other, and even, sometimes agree. Remember those days?

The big Boom, Boom

A funny story Dick told me once, was when his convoy was moving through some road in Vietnam and the kids, from a local village, who were standing along the road watching them, all suddenly put their fingers in their ears. It seems they were expecting a big Boom, Boom, a clear, albeit unwitting, indicator that they were about to roll into some trouble! 😉 The kids knew what was going to happen, the soldiers did too, but all the patrol could do was reach down and squeeze, in anticipation of the fireworks that would ensue, unable to stop, change course or turn around.

I’ve thought of that so many times at work. How many of us have been in the same situation? I call it “the Big Boom, Boom”

Out of luck, out of work

Dick, like seemingly 50% of Massachusetts at the time, worked for Digital Equipment Corporation (DEC). I thought he was old at 50 … oops, the same age I am now! If Dilbert was a human being, he would be it (and that is a compliment). He talked like what you would think a mathematician would talk like. Despite, these admirable qualities, Dick was laid off (eventually along with everyone else at DEC). Dick had a solid position in middle management and his pride and principles wouldn’t allow him to take a job for less than he had at DEC. So he was out of work for a year … then two … then three. Sure, he kept busy. He worked his land in New Hampshire with some heavy equipment he had, but three years is a long time to nurse your ego and turn your nose up to lesser opportunities. So finally, he realized it was time to change.

Change

Wait, what was that little word? Ego? Opportunities? No, change. That is why I emphasized it.

• If something isn’t working, you have to change
• If you are tired of beating your head against the wall, you have to change
• If you have hit rock bottom and there is nowhere to go but up, you have to change
• If you are unhappy, unfulfilled, un[fill in the blank]ed or you simply want to grow and improve, you have to change

No change role play

You: Ok, change … I get it. Easy. What do I have to do?

Me: Really? Are you ready to do this? OK … take all the stuff you are doing now and do it all differently. Stop doing the things you are doing now. Start doing things you haven’t been doing. And for things you should keep doing, do them differently. That is all

You: Whoa … let’s not get crazy here. Sure, I want to break out of my current pattern, but I really have to do things differently? No, that seems a bit extreme. That’s a deal-breaker to me. Instead, let me just sit around a bit more and just hope things get better.

There is a great book that covers this topic really well. It is called “Who moved my cheese”. Go to Amazon, buy it, read it, internalize it. It will change your life. I’ve talked to people who I recommended that book to who I still hear from and thank me for the recommendation. It will take you about 30 minutes, to read it, including a coffee break. So if you haven’t done it, do it.

Change role play

Instead, let’s try this again …

You: Ok, I get it.

Me: Good. Let’s look at some patterns in your life that you can alter to create the foundation for more fundamental change. It starts with going to bed early, waking up early, getting out of the house (even if you have nowhere to go), eating right, detoxing from alcohol, sugar, crap food, drugs, computer games, porn, illicit sex, social media, excuses, self-pity, pride, self-deprecating thoughts, self-destructive behaviors, etc, and forcing yourself to engage in wellness activities like meeting with friends, exercise, reading. music etc.

You: Ok, I can do that

Me: OK, great. I’ll be checking on you to make sure you are! Once you have committed to that and we have the beginnings of a solid foundation, let’s plan the next steps to alter and improve the trajectory of your life.

You: Great, let’s do this thing!

Have gun, will travel

Getting some of these die-hard “older” guys to make changes in life, is a challenge, but that is what Dick undertook. He decided that at 50 years old, he would change his stripes and become a technical consultant. The only problem was that he didn’t know a damn thing about technology, except perhaps mainframes and other water-cooled computer systems.

Undeterred, he went down to the local bookstore and went to the technology aisle. As the books were arranged in alphabetical order, the first topics were for “A”. He grabbed the first book he saw which was on Microsoft Access. Bought it, took it home, read it. Then he bought a copy of Access, installed it, and started to apply the principles he learned from the book. Once he was comfortable, he hung up his shingle, “Dick Dunnington – Microsoft Access Consultant” aka “Have gun, will travel” – an old Wild West American TV show.

He introduced himself to various agencies who were more impressed with Dick’s presence and aura of professionalism and responsibility than he many years of experience with this technology (as he had none). Soon enough he was hired for his first consulting assignment at $40/hr, then his next at $45, then his next … By the time I met him he was at $50 and ready to level up again.[2]

In a few short weeks, Dick decided to get off of his backhoe, change his entire profession and approach, invest in doing the things he needed to do to achieve this transformation, and systematically move forward to execute his plan.

Epilogue

The last time I spoke to Dick he was complaining of too many people contacting him for work assignments. I commiserated with him and we both went about our lives. I always told myself that someday, when I had a little time, I’d write down some reflections of this man, who made such an impression on me.

Dick, if you or your kids, wife, etc. ever find this, I want you to know I appreciated your leading by example, and I always found inspiration in your story.

For others out there, if you are stuck in a rut, as we all get from time to time, perhaps you can also gain some inspiration from this story as well.

 

[1] He was under a bunch of security restrictions about his duties, missions, etc although I would have expected those to have eventually expired …

[2] These are rates from 20+ years ago

(p) Photo credit – https://www.metv.com/shows/have-gun-will-travel

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Successful habit forming experiment

I found this article today and it looks really good. It demonstrates *scientifically proven* ways to create new habits, that work and also covers some (somewhat surprising ones) that don’t.

We studied the best way to actually make a new habit stick.

This works

Habit Reflection has three simple steps:

■ Pick a past situation where you were able to successfully change your long-term behavior or create a new habit.
■ Write down anything you learned from this past situation about how to successfully form new habits or any tactics you used to help make this change that could apply to your new habit.
■ Create a brief written plan for applying those lessons to your new habit.

This doesn’t

■ rewarding yourself for practicing the habit
■ coming up with a strategy for restarting the habit if you lapse
■ visualizing yourself performing the habit
■ using a motivational phrase when your energy or motivation flags

I will follow this in trying to create a new habit

Pick a past situation where you were able to successfully change your long-term behavior or create a new habit.

In my former company, we created a habit that was both effective, and kind of fun, for me. Instead of admonishing people when they made a mistake, and then otherwise not doing anything about it, I used a “X days without a mistake” system to increase awareness of our quality.

We did it for the individuals and not the team (this was one tweak). When a mistake occurred, rather than admonish, scold, etc I just noted the mistake, in a constructive manner, and reset the counter. Each day I asked the team to post their quality stats along with goals, completed tasks, etc. A mistake counter would look like this: 6 / 23. This means that, currently, the person has 6 days without a mistake and their max period was 23

The team really bought into it and I do think that it both raised awareness of quality and improved it. It was a simple and effective system, that didn’t take me any time to manage. It showed both absolute (mistake vs no mistake) and relative performance (vs other team members). Team members were more aware of potential mistakes, take more time with tasks and otherwise look to improve quality to stretch out their counters. Over time we had more mistake-free days and longer counters, which provided an opportunity for validation and praise, which ultimately improved quality and morale.

Write down anything you learned from this past situation about how to successfully form new habits or any tactics you used to help make this change that could apply to your new habit.

I changed it from a team count, where one mistake from the team would reset the counter for the whole team to 0, to an individual counter. With 3 people in the team, you were very likely to never accrue many days without a mistake. Also, this tended to mask the differences between higher quality and lower quality individuals. I do think it is important to think as a team but to also allow individual performance to be made transparent

We added the second counter to provide some inspiration and motivation e.g. “I hit 20 before and that is my goal this time” or “Damn, I reset to 0 today … but my stats still show the strength of a long run I had, so I still have that.

Create a brief written plan for applying those lessons to your new habit.

I need to create a counter that resets my days if I fail to do any one of these things

  • Go to the gym
  • Play my musical instrument (Banjo) for 1 hour
  • Drink a glass of water in the AM
  • Write a blog post
  • Perform one act of kindness
  • Avoid drinking alcohol on weekdays (weekend drinking only)

Another habit…

I’m also working on a habit to drink a glass of water daily, first thing in the morning. Today’s glass was featured in this article’s picture!

 

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Control by exercise

“Continue to invest in your physical temple. Through our aches and pains there are some worthy dividends.”

– Jimmy McMillian, Retired Air Force General and member of our local gym in Chapel Hill, NC

One of the common denominators of people who go to the gym (consistently), all the way up to professional body-builders [1] is a desire for a sense of control. Sometimes, in our lives, there are so many events that are outside of our control, that we feel constantly buffeted and helpless. Even activities that we may enjoy or people we want to spend time with are dependent on external variables i.e. will they show up, will we have a fun time, etc?

I was the CEO of a software company for many years but I couldn’t control if we released a build that day, whether a prospect would purchase or not, if someone would quit or I would get sued, etc. Even though a single line of code will do exactly what you program it to do, 10 million lines will often (or always) result in unexpected and unpredictable behaviors. Often, I would wake up, check email, and then just start going through all of the unexpected events that would hammer us that day. Rather than being the driver, I often felt like I was just along for the ride.

Going to the gym provides an opportunity, for however brief of a moment in your day, to control everything you do. When you push the weight, it goes up. When you run hard, you sweat. Your body will respond exactly as you will it and can be shaped exactly as you intend.

In times of challenges, I do find solace and sanctuary in the gym and find myself bouncing out of bed in the morning, in eager anticipation of an activity I generally hate e.g. could you imagine having fun lifting up and putting down heavy rocks for an hour?

There are many reasons to exercise, whatever form that may take. My form has always been weightlifting at the gym. And there are many benefits like endurance, heart health, strength, weight loss, etc. For me though, the more ethereal aspects, including a sense of control that really improves my mental health, is ultimately is the most important benefit.

You often can’t take full control of your life, but you always can control some aspects of it which includes scheduling time to exercise and committing to it. The sense of control you will gain will improve your emotional and physical resilience to tackle those issues you can’t control. Those issues will come. You can’t prevent that. But you can learn to manage and deal with them more effectively.

You can’t control what other people will do, unexpected events and circumstances, etc

  • You can control switching off-screen time and going to be early so you can get out of bed in the AM
  • You can control setting a time to wake-up in the morning
  • You can control not checking email or social media before leaving for the gym
  • You can control what exercises you do, how many and the duration of your workout
  • You can control whether you will allow for distractions and interruptions, during your workout, or whether you will focus

In doing so, you can control the success of your workout regimen and how you will look and feel physically, over time. And in the process, you can improve your emotional and physical resilience and the sense of control that you have over your own life.

 

[1] From my readings, such a sense of order, control, separation etc is particularly helpful to women who’s lives can often be much more complicated than men’s. It is a common thread in the motivation of female bodybuilders.

 

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Second C# meetup held in Novi Pazar

With a goal to popularize Information Technologies and find optimal programming solutions, ICT Development Center from Novi Pazar, in cooperation with Centre NIT, has organized C# programming language meetup.

This event has attracted the attention of many young people, who are or would like to become – programmers.

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First C# meetup to be held in Novi Pazar

ICT Development Center, together with Center NIT, organizes the first C# meetup in Novi Pazar. This event will be held on Tuesday, February 4, 2020, at 18:00, in the Cultural Center, Novi Pazar.

At the meetup, there will be a talk on the programming language itself, its use for Information systems development, desktop and mobile application building, and video game creation.